Monday, October 23, 2000

The Competitive Fire Burns On

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8)

On 1/26/1999, I wrote the following in my "The Competitive Fire Within" verse application: "I still enjoy winning and I still love to compete. But I pray I never let those desires negatively impact another person's life again." After Game 1 of the World Series last Saturday night, I realize I still have a long way to go. Throughout the game between my most beloved team (N.Y Mets) and my most despised team (N.Y. Yankees) I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't sit still, I couldn't relax, and I could barely speak to my family who I had flown half way across the country to visit for the weekend.

At the time, I rationalized it as a once in a lifetime event transpiring before my very eyes. The Mets and Yankees had never played in the World Series before, and they probably never will again. But that's no excuse. I'm tired of having my life turned upside down by the result of a sports game. All Sunday morning on my flight home from New Jersey, I reflected on my behavior the night before and prayed for a change. The verse above is a comfort to me, for I know that if I earnestly seek this change, the Lord is able and willing to enact it.

I want to change. I don't want to be the man I was last Saturday night anymore. It's been a lifelong battle, but I'm looking forward to what the Lord can and will do about it.